Open Adoption in Canada

Celebrating Birth Mothers

by Kim Gray in the Calgary Herald
Published: Monday, May 05, 2008

Raising Adopted Children - E-Booklet

When you subscribe to Adoptive Families Magazine you get a free e-booklet, Raising Adopted Children, with some of the best articles of past issues.

This is the Table of Contents of that booklet. I particularly like the article about remembering Birth Fathers. Those of you who know me know that this is a topic close to my heart.

Adoptive Families also offers a great e-newsletter. Everyone should sign up for that as well. This week they reviewed adoption announcements and showed announcement samples from their staff. They also a collection of ideas from readers on how to plan and throw an adoptive baby shower.

USA Today Article on Open Adoption

Struggling families look at adoption
in USA Today
by Wendy Koch




A look into a beautiful open adoption.

The Agony of Knowing

I am an advocate for open adoptions. I believe that the heart wrenching pain that accompanies adoption is, at least partially, alleviated through transparency and communication. That said, I had never considered how a health care worker and a friend could also suffer from carrying the weight of such a secret.

Like many adoption stories, this one is bitter sweet. Yes, there was pain and loss, but it was tempered by a sweet reunion. And the weight of secrecy was finally and gratefully lifted.

Adoption in a Small Town ~

The Agony of Knowing….

Adoptive Families Magazine- June 2009

I received my first issue of Adoptive Families Magazine in the mail a few days ago. I am very excited about this addition to our family adoption library. What a great resource! I highly recommend a subscription to anyone who is involved in adoption.






Some of my favorites from this issue:

Ask AF
A reader writes in to ask the AF experts how to explain to her daughter why her birth family has chosen to have very limited contact with her, while her brother's birth family has chosen to have a very open adoption.
This is something I have thought about myself. The response from Counselor Joni Mantell is helpful and insightful. She suggests ways to help a child realize that while different people express love in different ways, that doesn't mean that one loves you more than another. Birth families are the same, they may show their love differently, but they love you just the same.

About Time by Christina Clark
About a family who adopts their son out of the foster care system. This quote just melted my heart:

"I told him that I was his mama, not caring whether that was appropriate. Joseph's eyes met mine. He hugged me and beamed as if to say, 'It's about time!'"

Mother's Day Chocolate by Shelley Lowery

One mother-to-be's struggle with the annual Mother's Day celebration and her Mother's Day miracle.

". . .But this time I was crying the happiest tears I'd ever known. And in my arms, I held something sweeter than all the Mother's Day chocolate in the world."

New Resources I want to look into:


Adoption Grants:

giftofadoption.org
helpusadopt.org
nafadopt.org
showhope.org
parenthoodforme.org

Adoption Loans

achildwaits.org
freeloan.org
oxfordadoption.com
abbafund.org

Family Donation Sites

gotchagiftregistry.com
myregistry.com

Books I may want to read:

What Every Adoptive Parent Needs to Know: Healing your Child's Wounded Heart by Kate Cremer-Vogel and Dan and Cassie Richards.

Star of the Week: A Story of Love, Adoption, and Brownies with Sprinkles by Darlene Friedman and Roger Roth

What did you like?

Amazing Article, Amazing Response

There are a lot of people out there who have a lot of negative things to say about adoption.
We will assume that they are simply uneducated.

Here is a beautiful example of an open adoption blessing all members of the adoptive triad (child, birth parents, adoptive parents.)

She's a mother, just not a parent

Open adoption is this family's path

By Luciana Chavez - Staff Writer

Published: Sun, May. 10, 2009 04:16AM

After you read the article, take a look at the comments. When the negative comments reared their ugly heads, those who know the great blessing that adoption can be stood up, spoke from personal experience, and hopefully enlightened a few minds. I know, if nothing else, they inspired me.

Book Review: Famiy Wanted- Stories of Adoption

Family Wanted: Stories of Adoption
edited by Sara Holloway

I was happily touched by the book Family Wanted: Stories of Adoption edited by Sara Holloway. It is a collection of essays written by professional writers who have been touched by adoption in the most personal of ways.
There are three sections of the book, first essays written are written by people who were adopted as children. Some are sweet, some are confused, all are very real.
The essays written by birth mothers are next. For me these essays were poignant and heart braking. I felt reading these raw emotional essays increased my empathy significantly.
Last are the essays from adoptive parents. It was this section that I read as if it were water in a desert. To read of parents experiencing struggles similar to my husband and mines, of their determination and drive to build family, and finally of their sweet success was a balm to my frustrated heart.
Following is the conclusion of one of the adoptive mother’s essay:
“Yes, there were obstacles- but look how things turned out. I wake up in the morning- or should I say am awakened, like today- with you jumping onto my bed, clambering over me, and giving me a dimpled smile, then a big kiss. ‘Come on Mama,’ you demand, tugging at the covers. ‘Get up and make my breakfast.’ That smile and kiss are worth everything to me. (“Dear Djeneba” Meg Bortin.)

Book Review: A Love Like No Other- Stories from Adoptive Parents

A Love Like No Other: Stories From Adoptive Parents
by Pamela Kruger (Editor), Jill Smolowe (Editor)

For those of us waiting, wishing, longing, there is something soothing and reassuring about hearing and reading the experiences of families whose wait is over. We long to hear that the miracle that we continually hope and pray for will come to pass. It strengthens our faith, reassures us that the Lord is listening, and lengthens our patience.

For those of you who have all ready welcomed miracle children into your families, you may enjoy rejoicing with others who understand the road you have traveled. You may also find comfort in the acknowledgment that despite the difficulty we go through in building a family through adoption, that road does not end with a placement and finalization. Nor is the continuing road always smooth and easily traversed. In addition to the usual ups and downs of parenting, those of us who are called to adoption will have an extra dimension to our family that we are responsible to help our children navigate. The authors of these essays share their children’s reaction to being adopted and how they, as parents, responded to those reactions.

A Love Like No Other: Stories from Adoptive Parents is a deep well of experiences that we can dip into when our own faith is diminished. It may serve well as a periodic “pick-you-up,” reading one essay at a time or you may read it as I did, obsessively over the course of two days, giving me a much needed infusion of hope and resolve.

Now, be forewarned, you may not only need a box of tissues, but you may also need an open mind. These essays are written by parents who adopted domestically and internationally, families who were joined by newborns and families who brought school age children and teens into their families, parents who honor their children’s native heritage and those who hardly acknowledge it. You may not agree with their decisions, with their philosophy, or even their way of life, but one thing is beyond discussion, these parent love their children with a fierce and binding love.

Each of us will react to each of these essays differently. We will each relate to the essayists in our own way. For me the experience of Amy Rackear in her essay “The Second Time Around” hit close to home and, although our situations are not entirely similar, her words and her story resonated with me, giving me the resolve to move forward during a difficult time in our own adoption journey.

The experiences recorded in this book are as diverse as the children we adopt. Somewhere within the pages of this book you are likely to find a family who has walked the road you are now facing, or has walked the road with you. Regardless, each of the stories will teach you something and increase your love for adoption.

Book Reveiw: The Adoption Decision - 15 Things You Want to Know Before Adopting

The Adoption Decision - 15 Things You Want to Know Before Adopting
Laura Christianson


This book review will come with a disclaimer that this is the first adoption book I have read, so keep that in mind.

This is a Christian centered book. Christianson refers to it as a:

"how to for the heart"- a guide through the critical heart issues you'll encounter during the adoption process and after you bring home your child. (p. 10)

She starts out with a glossary of adoption terms, something I thought was a great idea, but would have liked to be more extensive.

The first chapter is a guide to communicating with the people around you (friends, family, obnoxious busy bodies) as you begin your adoption journey. She has some excellent suggestions on how to handle a variety of responses and questions that you are likely to field.

Next she deals with the emotions and reactions that both you and others will have once your child arrives home. This was one my my favorite chapters, as I find Chrsitanson's dry reactions to some astonishing comments about her children, very fitting.

I've been married to the same man for 25 years and I can attest that biologically unrelated people possess the capacity to bond.

The most valuable part of the book for me personally was chapter 4, A Labor of Love. I appreciated the Christianson's candor about the home study, about the personal questions you will be asked and expected to answer, and the emotions you will encounter as you qualify the special needs you may or may not be willing to accept in your child.

Other chapter's include dealing with the emotional aspects of infertility (and the insensitivity you may encounter,) a personal perspective on meeting birth parents, and overcoming the trauma of failed placements. She also covers international adoption, adopting children of a different ethnicity than your own, and gives a look into the lives and coping mechanisms of families whose children have severe developmental, emotional, or behavioral challenges.

Throughout the book Christianson gives examples of her topic from the Bible and reminds us of the continual support and love of our Father in Heaven. Some may find this aspect of the book distracting, but she effectively positions these portions of her book in such a way that, if desired, they can be skimmed over without missing any of the information in the chapter.

Again, this is the first adoption related book I have read, so my experience is very limited, however, I found this book useful, uplifting, and a welcome look into the more personal and emotional aspects of adoption that I have been concerned about.

Thank you Laura for a valuable book.

(this review was originally posted at fsawa.blogspot.com on August 29, 2008)

I must be insane

I have become so passionate (obsessed?) about adoption. I want to share everything that I am learning, but I didn't feel like I had a good venue to do that. So, in a moment of insanity, I've started yet another blog.

Welcome to Adoption FYI